Here’s the problem if you came to this post in hopes of learning about ways to read your significant other’s mind— it’s impossible!
I hate to admit that this blog has been inspired by a conversation John and I had tonight, and that sadly, I caught myself being a stereotypical female. You know, those women men avoid because, no matter what anyone says to them, they continue to fish for compliments because they have low or no self-esteem? I’m not mocking them, I used to be one. I’m not now, but I’m also only human and we all fish for compliments at one point or another.
The conversation started because of my love for an actor, (Kit Harington anyone?),
and then I told John that if he wanted to emotionally cheat on me with Harington’s co-star Rose Leslie (Game of Thrones),
that I’d be okay with this because I think she’s impeccable. Then I added, “though you probably wouldn’t like her because she’s skinny…but then again, I’m skinny too.”
His response? “Yeah, you kinda are.”
Unleash the insecure female! I asked, “You don’t think I’m skinny? What do you think I am then?”
He said a couple of words (trying to dig himself out of a hole), but the only one I heard was “stocky.” Yup, stocky. Like a bean stock, or as defined by Google,”(of a person) broad and sturdily built.” So, I’m sturdy, or basically a sex kitten.
I wasn’t mad at him. He wasn’t trying to hurt my feelings or insult me in any way. Though in that moment I couldn’t help but think in his mind I was in the middle of a forest with a flannel vest on that I cut myself, out of my dad’s old flannel coat, chopping down trees with tattooed arms and an axe. Stocky.
Then I thought about this a little more, and felt more amused with my behavior and thought process than anything else. See, I’ve been with John for almost six years.
If there’s one thing I know about him, it’s that he has a peculiar way with words sometimes. To him “stocky” means one thing, but most likely to many other people, it means something totally different.
Next, I realized something most women fail to acknowledge when they ask their significant others about their appearance; if they are still dating you, are still married to you, still say they like you or love you, whatever it may be, they find you attractive. Would you date someone you found unattractive? It’s unlikely.
You never hear someone say, “Isn’t she just so fat and beautiful?” No! To your significant other, no matter what size you are, they love it. No one dates, marries or stays with someone they find unattractive. It sounds shallow, but not being attracted to someone can spiral into something much bigger causing your relationship to turmoil, fast. I know this because it’s happened to me.
Do yourself a favor and next time you want to ask if a dress makes your butt look big, remind yourself that they only see you, and to them, you’re beautiful. So shake your big girl panties out of a bunch, relax and love yourself. Who cares if that means you’re a lumberjack?