I’ve written probably over 8,000 words in a form of an outline/brainstorm extravaganza. I’ve altered and expanded the idea on several ocassions, and I still have not had the pleasure of beginning page one of my book. It’s been about a month.
For those of you who think writers stay home all day and leisurely write award-winning novels, I have news for you.
My reality is I work two jobs to just barely get by financially(55-60 hours/week), while dreaming of someday writing that award winning novel. My boyfriend is sometimes down in the dumps when all I want to do is eat dinner and spend no more than a half hour with him before I can get to writing…or brainstorming, or whatever it is at this point, (of course other times he loves that I’m writing). Sometimes it’s just me rereading my ideas, again and again.
Society’s fascination with numbers has grabbed my attention by its female parts for years now. Just think of the ways numbers define us: SSNs, phone numbers, bank numbers, addresses, ages, weight and length when we are born, weight and height when we are older, numbers on our birth certificate, credit scores, etc. It’s mind boggling.
Here’s why writing is hard. Not only for all the things I mentioned above about my personal life, but because sometimes you have an idea that you are so in love with, so hung up on, and as a writer you are so passionate about finding the story in it…but then you hit that wall and can’t climb over it or find a door through it. You can’t even see the dots, nevermind connect them.
I have days where I think it’s because I suck, and others where I remind myself my most favorite pieces of fiction took years and years to craft. It’s a battle between my patience and my eagerness to see my ideas flow out on paper.
I hope that at this rate within two or three months I will have a completed outline. From characters and their arcs, to their world, to the plot and the sequence of events, ideally in a chapter format.
Writing is hard, but it would be too easy to say I quit. Even if I don’t have an outline done in two or three months, I can’t quit. I already know what happens when I quit. I want to see what happens when I dont.